by Erin Napier
Sometimes when you’re dealing with something overwhelming and scary and it feels like the weight of everything you’ve ever been afraid of or worried about is bearing down on you, you just need to cry. And some things can feel like you’re alone in them, like no one else can bear the load with you because it’s singularly your problem. And when I feel that way, Ben always comes to the rescue and demands that he share my every worry and problem and every heartbreak and fear. He won’t have it any other way. And he hugs me close with my face buried in his chest, and he lets me cry and cry and cry and he makes me tell him every (however irrational) worry in my heart, and he tells me everything he’s going to do to bear that burden with me (even burdens that he can’t possibly take on). And he tells me how very together we are in this life, how we always will be, how I can’t stand the hard things alone, and that I’m not meant to. And he makes it better, because he’s right. If I just tell him my redundant worries and fears, they’re not bouncing around in my heart and my mind anymore, they’re something real that he can grab on to—and because he’s not worried about that thing, it becomes lighter, he removes the sharp edges. He shows me that it’s not really that scary anymore. And then I will pray about it, and he will too, and the light fills up all the dark places. And it works both ways, since I see his worries as completely overcomeable tasks, we help pull each other back up when it feels like we’re slipping.
I’m so very thankful that I get to share life with Ben. I could cry a million tears trying to explain it.
Always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name.
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I’m Erin Napier, co-owner of Laurel Mercantile Co. and Scotsman Co. with my husband, Ben. I’m an artist and he’s a craftsman and we help people moving to our town find and restore old houses on HGTV’s Home Town. In an effort to count my blessings, this journal has documented only the good things that happen on each and every day of my life since January 1, 2010. I am a wife, a daughter, a homebody, a bubble bath lover, a book reader, a sentimental, stressed out, slightly obsessive southerner. Welcome!